Marriage in the African society

Marriage can be defined as the social union or legal contract between two individuals who wish to create kinship. In most African societies marriage is one of the most important events in a person’s life. Marriage is a duty and a requirement in the society. 
According to Mbiti J.S (1989), “one who does not participate, is a rebel, a law breaker, he is not only abnormal but under-human.” As a result all individuals have to work hard and ensure that they get married. In the African society marriage is not a contract between two individuals but two families. Rarely is love mentioned in this union nor is it important.
Nyathi P, (2001:109), declares “each family consisted of many relatives, who had a role to play in the marriage contract. Further, each family was a constituent part of a larger family embracing the living dead.” The ‘living dead’ are the ancestors or ‘amadlozi’ in Ndebele, ‘vadzimu’ in Shona. The ‘living dead’ must be requested to protect the bride where she now goes. When she arrives at her new home, the ‘living dead’ of that family must also be informed and accept her as a new addition in that family.

According to Bhozongwana (1983:24), “ Amadlozi must be told that she is leaving home and the spirits must look after her there. Good luck, long life, fertility and prosperity are important and she can only get these from the sleeping men beside the cattle kraal, her ancestors.” In the African society marriage is not only an affair for two people but includes all members of the family, the living as well as the dead.
Not to get married is to displease both the living and dead members of the family. All members in the extended family as well as the dead have a special role to play in one’s marriage. Mbiti J.S (1989:133) propounds, “For African peoples, marriage is the focus of existence. It is the point where all members of a given community meet; the departed, the living and those yet to be born. All the dimensions of time meet here and the whole drama of history is repeated, renewed and revitalised.”
In this case, Mbiti refers to the ancestors as the ‘departed’. They have a special role to play in a person’s marriage. “ Marriage is the creation of a bond of kinship between the families of the two contracting parties, and on the members of these families...The individuals contracting the marriage itself are merged into the family groups,” (Posselt, NADA 1928:35).
In the African society marriage is a concern of all members of the society not one or two people. Mbiti(1989), sums it up , failure to get married under normal circumstances means that the person concerned has rejected society and society rejects him in return.

“African weddings are a family affair and involve the combining of two lives, two families, and sometimes even two communities! There are many different wedding traditions in the African continent and no two are exactly alike.Marriage is sacred in Africa and beyond because it solidifies relationship that enrich communities and nations by bring forth new life and new hope. The union of man and woman is a celebration of the natural continuity of life. Marriage is the only known incubator for the raising of balanced socially functional children.” – Halaqah Films (http://vimeo.com/15945369)

 

Not getting married is not an option in the African society. However with the advent of colonisation and westernisation, the majority of people in Africa have adopted western individualistic ideologies and attitudes. Some prefer to get married in court without their families or extended families. Some have opted for the church where ‘the departed’ or the ‘living dead’ are condemned.
This makes one wonder if this is what is causing many marriage break-ups and divorces nowadays. To adopt a strange religion and lifestyle is to be lost and confused. Some people have even gone as far as to reject marriage, others have gay or lesbian marriages. The question here is, “ Did these strange behaviours exist in the African society or they were adopted when the African people adopted the western way of life and their religion.

REFERENCES
Bhozongwana W (1983), Ndebele Religion and Customs, Mambo Press, Gweru.
Mbiti J.S (1989), African Religions and philosophy, Heinemann, London.
Nyathi P (2001), Traditional Ceremonies of AmaNdebele, Mambo Press<, Gweru.
Posselt F (1928) Native Marriage, NADA

IMAGES
http://www.ezakwantu.com/Lister%20Hunter%20-%20Xhosa%20Wedding%20116.JPG
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3204/3148576615_28e575f2c5.jpg

VIDEO

Halaqah Films : http://vimeo.com/15945369